Lately, I’ve found myself devouring books about vampires and the Fae. And by devouring, I mean speed-reading through them in a day, mostly because I’m skipping entire chapters. Specifically, the sex scenes—which, let’s be honest, are often repetitive enough to make you question if the author accidentally copied and pasted. And then there’s the endless internal monologuing. Oh, the monologuing!
I get it—it’s fantasy. It’s not supposed to be a strict adherence to the laws of physics, anatomy, or even common sense. But if I have to read about one more impossibly petite, golden-curled heroine paired with a brooding, seven-foot-tall vampire lord who probably can’t fit through a standard doorway, I might just throw the book across the room.
Let’s talk about it.
The Tiny Heroines and Their Towering Beaus
I understand vampires are supposed to be ethereal and perfect—immortal beings with impossible beauty. But why, oh why, are the heroines always described as these tiny, waif-like creatures, barely grazing five-foot-two, with flowing golden or fiery red hair cascading down to their waists? And don’t even get me started on their bodies—always "curvy in all the right places" despite weighing what I assume is slightly more than a feather.
Meanwhile, their love interests are hulking masses of testosterone and shadowy mystery, towering at six-foot-eight or taller, with shoulders broad enough to cast an eclipse. Now, I’m no engineer, but basic geometry tells me this pairing would make even the simplest tasks—say, holding hands—an ergonomic nightmare. And kissing? Oh, the logistics!
Imagine the seven-foot vampire hero bending down every single time to kiss his dainty beloved. That’s a chiropractic tragedy waiting to happen. His lower back would be in eternal agony—not from centuries of undead battles, but from trying to lean down far enough to kiss Little Miss Five-Two.
And then there’s the bedroom issue.
We’re supposed to believe that a 6’8”, 250-pound immortal warrior is tenderly lying on top of this delicate flower without accidentally crushing her ribcage? I’m sorry, but no. Suspension of disbelief only stretches so far.
Sure, the books always have those convenient workarounds—he’s propped on an elbow, or he’s using other skills that don’t require full-body weight distribution. But still! Every time I read one of these scenes, all I can picture is this poor woman squashed under a mountain of vampire muscle, wheezing and wondering if the undead have life insurance policies.
Skipping the Blah Blah
So, yes, I breeze through these books in a day. Not because they’re gripping page-turners, but because I skip entire sections of blah blah blah. Endless monologues, repetitive descriptions, and of course, the play-by-play of yet another scene where our tiny heroine stares into the glowing crimson eyes of her seven-foot broody lover and contemplates how deeply she feels his ancient pain.
Why Do I Care?
You might be wondering—why does this bother me so much? After all, it’s fantasy. It’s supposed to be larger-than-life, exaggerated, and a little silly. And yes, it is. But as someone who’s spent a lifetime writing and reading stories, I can’t help but feel that these tropes have become lazy shorthand.
Not every heroine needs to be a pocket-sized beauty. Not every hero needs to be a looming fortress of masculinity. And yet, it feels like so many authors—particularly female ones—fall into these patterns without question.
And maybe, just maybe, there’s a little bit of personal frustration here. I’m not a tiny woman. Never have been. At 5’8”, I still have to tilt my head back when talking to someone over six feet. I can’t imagine trying to dance—or, ahem, engage in other activities—with a seven-foot vampire prince without needing to take a yoga class first.
But here’s the thing—I’m not against fantasy or romance. I love both! I just want a little more variety. More tall heroines, more robust bodies, more dark-haired women, more realistic diversity. Because fantasy doesn’t have to mean carbon-copy characters cut from the same mold.
What About My Stories?
​In my own books, you’ll find women who are tall, strong, and yes, sometimes robust. They aren’t all ethereal wisps of golden beauty. Some have fiery red hair, others raven-black locks. And while they still get to fall in love with their mysterious brooding men (or women—I don’t judge), they do so in ways that make sense.
At the end of the day, I’m not here to shame anyone who enjoys these tropes. Heck, I still read the books! But a little variety, a smidge of realism, and fewer back-breaking love scenes wouldn’t hurt, would they?
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have another vampire book waiting for me. Here’s hoping the heroine is at least tall enough to reach the top shelf without a stepstool.
Until next time, happy reading—and may your vampires have decent posture.

You know, I’ve always found Malachi 3:10 to be one of those verses that stops you in your tracks. “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse… Test me in this… and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing there will not be room enough to store it.”
Test God? Really? The Almighty, the Creator of heaven and earth, is giving me permission to test Him? That’s a bold invitation. But there’s something incredibly personal about it too—like God is leaning down, looking me square in the eyes, and saying, “Try me. See what I’ll do.”
And then there’s Ephesians 3:20: “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.”
Exceedingly. Abundantly. Above.
That’s not just a sprinkle of blessing; that’s a tidal wave.
My Books as a Tithe? Yes, Really.
So here I am, placing my books on the metaphorical altar and offering them up as a tithe. Why? Because, honestly, marketing hasn’t exactly been my loaves-and-fishes miracle moment. Algorithms, ad campaigns, social media trends—sometimes it feels like shouting into the void while the void thumbs through TikTok videos.
But here’s the thing: I didn’t write these stories for algorithms. I wrote them because there’s a message woven into every chapter, every plot twist, and every flawed, struggling, stumbling character. It’s a message this world desperately needs right now—a message of hope and redemption.
Yes, There Are Angels and Demons (and Maybe Some Scandal)
Now, let me clarify: these aren’t your standard squeaky-clean Christian fiction novels. Oh no, my pages are stained with the messiness of real life. Angels and demons, sure—but they aren’t just celestial beings fluttering around in glitter and shadows. In my stories:

• Demons aren’t lurking under your bed—they’re the people we see every day. They walk beside us in grocery stores, they sit across from us in boardrooms, they smile on social media while hiding knives behind their backs. They’re those who choose deceit, selfishness, and harm.
• Angels aren’t flawless cherubs either. They’re the good men and women trying their best—messy, imperfect, and stumbling at times—but they get back up. They strive for what’s right, even when it’s hard.

These characters aren’t cardboard cutouts of virtue or vice. They’re human (well, sometimes they’re celestial, but you get my point). They face choices, consequences, and crossroads.
Even Lucifer Gets a Chapter or a Whole Book
Ah, Lucifer. Now there’s a character. I know—many believe redemption is off the table for him. But let me gently remind you of something Jesus said: “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)
Now, I’m not claiming my stories are rewriting theology. But I do believe in exploring big questions. Could redemption—even for someone as fallen as Lucifer—be possible? If God is truly limitless, can anyone be beyond His reach?
These Stories Are an Offering
So, here’s the truth: I’ve poured my heart and soul, and probably more caffeine than is medically advisable into these novels. Think Trigeminy. They’re not just entertainment (though I hope they entertain too). They’re an offering. A tithe. A whispered prayer on paper.
I’m asking God to take them, multiply them, and—if it’s His will—let them reach the people who need them most.
Because at the end of the day, whether one person reads them or one million, if even a single soul finds hope, sees redemption, or feels the faint tug of God’s love through these pages… then the tithe was worth it.
So here’s to open floodgates, exceedingly abundant blessings, and the wild, unpredictable ways God shows up—sometimes even in the pages of a messy, angel-and-demon-filled novel.
Amen, and happy reading.

Well, here we are again—me with another blog post and you (hopefully) still reading. Since my last update back in October, I’ve managed to finish not one, but two novels. First up was Whispers of the Wildwood, which apparently struck a chord with one of my readers. He liked it so much he asked, “Is there going to be a sequel?” And because I’m either wildly ambitious or slightly unable to say no to a good challenge, the answer was, “Absolutely.”
Thus, Heirs of the Wildwood was born. And now? Now I’m deep into the third installment, Beyond the Wildwood. Yes, we’re just plowing right through the forest, folks—no breadcrumbs, no looking back.
But, of course, novels don’t exist in a vacuum.
The Tangle of Stories and Seasons
You’d think with three Wildwood novels underway, I’d be content, right? Wrong. Somewhere between spring (or was it summer? Time is blurry) I started three other novels. I can’t even tell you what season it was, but I know it was warm, and I had caffeine in hand and a plot twist in my brain.
The goal is clear: finish Beyond the Wildwood, and then--then!—circle back to those other three stories patiently waiting in the corner of my brain, arms crossed, tapping their metaphorical feet.
But life, as it so often does, had other plans.
The Great Koi Pond Adventure
Ah, fall. Crisp air, golden leaves… and those same leaves fluttering lazily into my koi pond. You’d think koi would appreciate a bit of autumnal ambiance, but no—they look up at me, all shimmering scales and judgmental eyes, as I attempt to scoop leaves out of their watery home.
Enter: The Net Tent. Allegedly, this thing is designed to make pond maintenance easier. Allegedly, it requires at least two people to set it up. Reality? Two people, three people, a troop of highly trained squirrels—none of us could get it to cooperate. In the end, I draped the netting over the water, opened its little zipper, and declared it “good enough.”
The koi seemed unimpressed.
But as I stood there, leaves in one hand, net in the other, and the koi watching me like I was some kind of reality TV entertainment, a thought struck me: Could koi have their own story?
What would it even be? Are they little underwater philosophers? Do they have koi kingdoms and fishy politics? Who knows. But this is where AI comes in—because whenever I hit a mental roadblock, AI throws me a rope (or in this case, a life preserver). Outlines, plot suggestions, even editing—AI makes my chaotic story ideas slightly less chaotic.
Dreams, Notebooks, and a Novel Waiting to Happen
Speaking of chaotic story ideas, let’s talk about dreams. Oh, the dreams I’ve had. Somewhere in the lost annals of time, there were several notebooks filled with my nightly subconscious adventures. Tragically, they were lost years ago. But I’ve kept dreaming (as one does) and I now use my Apple Watch to record those half-awake, middle-of-the-night flashes of inspiration without fumbling for a pen.
I have a sneaking suspicion there’s a novel hiding in those dreams—a whole tapestry of strange places, odd characters, and plot twists that only make sense at 2 a.m. Will I write it someday? Absolutely. Probably. Maybe.
Socializing and Murder Mysteries
Now, in theory, I’m part of several online writers' groups. In practice, I remember they exist about two hours after the meeting ends. Whoops. So much for networking.
But even without the socializing, stories keep showing up. Take my neighbor, for example. I wrote about him once before, but since then… well, let’s just say life provided me with enough material for a murder mystery. And no, it’s not what you’re thinking. Nobody’s buried under the koi pond (yet).
The Problem With Too Many Stories
The truth is, the problem isn’t finding ideas—it’s finding time. Time to write them, edit them, shape them into something worth sharing. And somewhere in between scooping leaves, dreaming strange dreams, and wrangling nets over koi ponds, I carve out little moments to do just that.
So, for now, I’ll leave you with this: whether it’s Wildwood adventures, koi conspiracies, or dream-filled plotlines, the stories are coming. Slowly, chaotically, but surely.
Now, I’m off to grab some lunch and dive back into Beyond the Wildwood. Or maybe jot down an idea for those koi… or the dream novel… or the murder mystery.
You get the picture.
Until next time—see you later, or hoping you’ll read me later. Ha!

I don’t get to post delightful reviews about my books often, but this time I thought I’d include a review of my novel “Whispers of the Wildwood.”
~
Whispers of the Wildwood is a gripping fantasy novel filled with intense emotion, complex characters, and a storyline that hooks readers from the start. The novel is set in a realm where magic and shadows coexist, and its themes of betrayal, redemption, and the power of love drive the narrative forward with high stakes and compelling tension.
 The author excels at creating a vivid, magical world that feels tangible and immersive. The pacing is steady, balancing moments of tension with quieter, character-driven scenes. The dialogue, while occasionally leaning on fantasy tropes, fits the tone of the novel and keeps the reader engaged in the evolving dynamics between characters.​
Overall, Whispers of the Wildwood offers a satisfying mix of action, romance, and fantasy intrigue. Fans of the genre will appreciate the depth of the characters, the richly described setting, and the emotional rollercoaster that carries the plot. It’s a compelling read that explores the consequences of love, power, and the lengths one will go to protect what matters most. Highly recommend.
https://www.amazon.com/Whispers-Wildwood-Paranormal-Brandy-Marks-ebook/dp/B0DG9YCD12/

Is eroticize even a word? Honestly, I’m not sure, but I’m running with it. Here’s the thing—I happen to enjoy writing scenes with a bit of seduction and, yes, even sex. Why? Because sex is part of life. It’s one of those universal human experiences that brings immense joy, deep intimacy, and, let’s be honest, an impressive amount of drama and heartbreak. Whether you’re Christian or not, sex is tangled into the human condition in a way few things are.
Now, don’t get me wrong—I enjoy a sweet Christian romance as much as anyone. The kind where two chaste souls exchange longing glances across a sunlit meadow, maybe brush hands by candlelight, and—at most—share a single, gentle kiss at the altar. It’s wholesome, it’s pure, and… it’s also, let’s face it, more fantasy than the dragons I write about.
Because in my stories—paranormal fantasy filled with angels, demons, magic, and even dragons—I like to keep things as grounded in reality as possible. Well, as grounded as one can be when writing about celestial beings and fire-breathing creatures.
Dragons and Seraphs (Yes, Really)Speaking of dragons, did you know some scholars argue that dragons in the Bible might actually be seraphs? Oh yes, fiery celestial beings described as burning, winged creatures. A rabbi once wrote an excellent article about this, and let me tell you, it lit my imagination on fire (pun very much intended). But I digress—we’re supposed to be talking about seduction, aren’t we?
Sex, Faith, and the Messy TruthWhen I first opened my counseling practice, I was floored by how many Christians—men and women—were tangled up in affairs, struggling with sexual sin, or navigating unconventional relationships. Polyamory, premarital sex, secret rendezvous—it was all there, behind closed doors and whispered confessions.
And yet, in Christian fiction, publishers often won’t allow a whiff of that reality to grace their pristine pages. No sex outside marriage. No messy moral dilemmas. Just pure, unblemished love stories where the characters follow a straight path to the altar without so much as a sideways glance at temptation.
But life… well, life isn’t like that, is it?
Have these publishers never read Song of Solomon? Because let me tell you, that book isn’t shy about sensuality. Those verses aren’t about holding hands in the fellowship hall—they’re about deep, passionate, physical love. God didn’t shy away from writing about it, so why should we?
Philippians vs. Song of SolomonAs one writer said, “Some readers will cite Bible verses like Philippians 4:8 and the need to think on things that are pure. Other readers will point to a book of the Bible like Song of Songs and the sexual references as God-given and something to delight in.”
And therein lies the tension. What’s too much? What crosses the line? The truth is, readers will never agree on where that line is. Some want their fiction squeaky clean; others want it raw, real, and tangled up in the messy consequences of human choices.
But what frustrates me most is how often Christian fiction seems to ignore King David. Here’s a man after God’s own heart—a hero of the faith—and yet, his story is stained with adultery, deception, and even murder. And yet, David repented. He turned back to God with a broken spirit and was forgiven.
That, my friends, is the crux of it all.
The Redemption Arc That MattersIt’s not about pretending humans don’t stumble. It’s not about erasing temptation or glossing over the realities of love, lust, and sin. It’s about showing what happens after. It’s about repentance. It’s about redemption. It’s about the extraordinary, reckless grace of God that meets us in our mess and offers us a way back.
In my stories, some characters find that way back. Others don’t. Some choose the light; others fall into darkness. Because fiction—at least the kind I want to write—should reflect life. And in life, not everyone gets a happy ending.
Call It Smut, Call It Real, Call It MineSo yes, I’ll keep writing my stories—the ones some might dismiss as “smut” or “too worldly.” I’ll write about seduction and sin, about angels and demons, about heroes who fall and villains who might just rise again.
Because life isn’t always tidy, and neither are the stories worth telling.
At the end of the day, if one reader sees themselves in one of my flawed, struggling characters and feels a spark of hope—feels like maybe redemption isn’t beyond their reach—then every word was worth it.
So here’s to messy stories, raw truths, and a God whose grace knows no limits.
And yes, I’ll see you later—or, rather, you’ll read me later. Ha!

From Heaven to Wildwood: 
Well, it’s been a while since I’ve popped onto my website, but life has a way of pulling you into one story after another—sometimes on the page, sometimes off it. In that time, I’ve ventured into something new, something different—a romance novel unlike anything I’ve written before.
You see, my previous novels dwelled in the realms of heaven and hell, angels and demons, celestial cherubs, and divine conflicts. And yes, I still have a few more of those brewing somewhere in the back of my mind, waiting for their turn to be written.
But this new novel? Oh, this one took me somewhere else entirely.
Introducing Whispers of the Wildwood
Originally, I titled this book Shadows of Elysium. It had a nice ring to it—or so I thought. Turns out, a little research would have saved me from discovering that not only does a book with that exact title already exist, but another one with a very similar name is out there too. Worse yet? Neither one managed to crack the 4-star mark in reviews.
Now, call me picky, but when I’m choosing a book to read, I like to see a solid 4 stars or higher. Sure, reviews aren’t everything, and opinions are as varied as dragon scales, but let’s be honest—poor reviews usually mean readers were left unsatisfied. And as a writer, I’d rather not start my book’s life saddled with someone else’s baggage.
So, Shadows of Elysium became Whispers of the Wildwood. And honestly? I think the new title suits the story even better.
No Politics, Just People (and Maybe a Few Enchanters) 
Let me confess something—I cannot stand political intrigue in novels. I know, I know, some people eat it up like it’s the last slice of pie, but me? Not so much. And I love pie.
Once, I picked up a highly praised novel about angels at war, complete with celestial strategies and heavenly alliances. The premise was great. The opening chapters had me hooked. But then… the politics began. And I mean pages and pagesof political maneuvering between winged bureaucrats. I gave it my best shot, but eventually, I started skipping entire chapters until I reached the end.
Did I miss anything important? Nope. The last chapters wrapped it all up neatly, and honestly, I don’t regret skipping the middle.
That’s not to say my stories are devoid of conflict—far from it. There’s tension, betrayal, emotional warfare, and the kind of heartbreak that can split souls in two. But political debates around celestial conference tables or in the clouds? You won’t find them here.
Characters Who Fall, Rise, and Stumble Again 
At the heart of Whispers of the Wildwood are characters who are as flawed as they are compelling.

• There’s a rogue who, against all odds, becomes someone admirable—only to fall again after his wife’s betrayal sends him spiraling. (He can’t be too perfect, after all.)
• There’s a heroine who starts out pure, almost saintly, but thanks to an enchantment (because magic makes everything more complicated), she makes choices that lead her far from the man she loves.
• And, of course, there’s the nefarious enchanter—seductive, manipulative, and very, very dangerous.

But as in all good stories, redemption is never entirely out of reach. Choices are made, consequences are faced, and not everyone gets a happy ending.
A Glimpse Into the Wildwood
If you’re curious, you’ll find an excerpt from Whispers of the Wildwood right here on my website—the first sixteen chapters, no less! Enough to pull you into the misty, magical world I’ve created and introduce you to these characters I’ve grown so fond of (and occasionally wanted to shake).
I poured so much of myself into this novel—my love for flawed heroes, my belief in redemption, and my fascination with the ways people can break, heal, and rebuild themselves.
What Comes Next?
Well, with any luck (and a little more diligence on my part), I’ll be back here soon with another blog. Maybe I’ll be talking about a new story idea, or maybe I’ll be knee-deep in Wildwood’s sequel. Either way, there’s always another tale to tell, another page to turn, and another world waiting to be written.
Until then, happy reading—and if you happen to wander into the Wildwood, tell the rogue and the enchantress I said hello.
Here’s hoping you’ll read me later. Ha!

I struggle to keep up with the blog since I’ve also gone back to work. I don’t know how long that will last but there’s a few items needing my attention around the home. So my writing suffers but I’ll have the money for a new fence and a couple of other items. Anyway, what to watch out for:
#1: Schedule Time
As I’ve suggested to clients many times, set a schedule then do your best to follow it, and that is one reason I’m back to blogging at least once a week. I made a time for it on my calendar! I have two clients a day, four days a week and only in the afternoons, never evenings. That leaves my mornings and evenings and two to three days a week free for writing.
#2: Editing and Editors.
I originally wrote Lucifer Unbound then it and another epic novel became a seven book saga, "Children of Adonai: The Celestials Chronicles." That book wasn’t selling well, no matter what I did as far as marketing went. Now I’m using AI to review them chapter by chapter and re-editing the individual novels as well. That’s one thing the AI is very good at and it doesn’t cost a lot of money, which a lot of new authors are short on.
I’ve hired so-called editors who do nothing but put my book through ProWriteAid (which I own and have used) or Google Doc (which I also use) then have the nerve to charge me for a grammar check on my novel. So, if you’re a new writer, beware of editors if you don’t know them or they do not come recommended by authors who actually sell their books.
#3: AI Programs. 
Another thing, I was using Sudowrite to check my work and so forth, but a couple of times. I also use GhatGPT for editing parts of my novels. It do a great job altering a phrase I don’t like and rephrases it along with added ideas. Of course, you, the author has to edit AI because it’s not always as smart as you would like it to be, and sometimes, it confuses characters and scenes. 
It seems everyone has at least ten things to do on their lists but for me I like to keep it simple and even making a list of three things can be a chore for me, but it’s a place to start and I hope it helps.

Surrender your arms! What the heck does that even mean?
Okay, so most of my blogs are about my writing, even these weird ones because even these end up in my stories in one way of another. And, I can see where this one could be a story in itself.
In my dream last night: I’m with family, my brothers, one of whom died a few years ago and I cannot connect with him. Duh. My dogs are also in the dream, running around having fun, playing, of course. But there’s a lot of my family in the dream, who may or may not have anything to do with me.
People in your dream always have to do with you! They are a part of you, parts you may not be able to connect with (!) or who you do not have much to do with (you don’t pay attention to).
So, outside, in a field there’s a lot of stuff going on with the near homeless (and I’m reading a lot into this right now because of a neighbor and a homeless friend I recently ran into). Then a woman comes by on the hillside who's not part of the family and doesn’t belong (really?). 
Suddenly, I’m with some other people. You know how dreams go! We’re in a camp where people are turning things in, maybe donating stuff or preparing donations. I don’t recall all of it. 
_____
Before bedtime, I’d read Malachi 3:10 which says: "Test me! … and I will surely bless you. Good things will come to you like rain falling from the sky. You will have more than enough of everything.”
Now, I don’t go to church but the Lord is in my life 24/7. In my writing, I’m constantly looking up scripture to be sure I’m on track. Though I’m writing fiction, I want to honor the Lord with what I’m spewing out about the important lessons a character speaks. So, I ask the Lord, “What can I give? Like the apostle Peter said, 'Silver and gold, I have none. What I have this I give to you.' He gave healing, Lord. What do I have to give?” 
____
So, in my dream, a man is sharing his war story when another man behind me, like my neighbor who’s always interjecting something. So finally, I turn and say, “Shut up and let him tell his story.” He does. That’s me, miss straight up and abrupt. But it gets the job done. So, John hands over his rifle, his weapon; it’s wrapped in burlap, and it slams past spattering mud on me, I know it’s intended for me. I wake up.
“Lord. You want me to give up my weapons? My anger IOW? How?”
_____
I read another blog. Now this is something I and my character in my story would have to learn:
Anger is my reaction when someone steps on me, figuratively. I get angry when I imagine what has been done, how, usually a male has trod upon me. I think most of my life I have held on to a right to be understood. These are often the times I get most mad at a male  or those around me. After all, I deserve to be understood and treated fairly. Right?
But as a follower of Yeshu'a, what are my rights?
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 (NKJV)
God is calling me/us to a surrender that is so final to lift our head in defense or anger seems insane – ridiculous. I am a bond servant of Adonai, God Almighty. He is my defender. I answer to Him. Whatever wave of attack or injustice – from slander to the guy next door – Adonai’s call is to let it wash over me without a fight - like water off a ducks back.
To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also. Luke 6:29 (NKJV)
Why would anyone live this way?
______
When I read the Scriptures I hear God saying to me, “You know Me, you give up your life as I did. I’ll show you when and where to lay down your rights. But let’s start with your life, your expectations, your money, your family and friend’s approval, to be successful, to be understood. First, let’s start with these. Just let them go. Turn the other cheek and die to your rights." 
What if He knows turning my cheek could transform me and possibly the rest of the planet? His selfish people's ridiculous and radical abandonment of rights and instead show His insane love and, in doing so, we would see His face?
What if I am missing what he has for me because I want to hold on to my rights and my anger? What if freedom is letting go of the very things I think I must have in order to gain what I want most?

Just when I imagine I’ve finished a book, and it’s offered on Amazon, I download the copy as an ePub and begin to read it as a reader… oh, crapola. Disaster. 
Suddenly, I discover a chapter where I’d moved paragraphs around and now there are two of one and words not where they should be. Yes, I know, an editor would be nice - if I had thousands of dollars lying around to send off to a publisher I wouldn’t have these problems, but I don’t.
The last person I sent my manuscript to got caught in his own novel he was preparing for a contest (which he didn’t win) and could not find the time to edit mine. What was I paying for? Sigh.
So, I struggle to perfect my novels on my own and every 90 days I offer my books on Amazon for free on Kindle and hope against hope someone will review them, at least for the story and hope they overlook the mistakes. So far, the only reviews I’ve been able to garner I’ve had to pay for are online and, of course, they are not always guaranteed to be real people. Even when they are real people those person don’t put their review on Amazon, Apple or even Goodreads. So, what’s the point?
The only review worth the ink on the page is on Amazon. The vast majority of ebooks sold nowadays are on Amazon. I believe it’s upward of 80%. So, you see my dilemma. 
If anyone reading this blog wants a free copy of any of my books and is willing to review the book(s) on Amazon and/or Goodreads (I believe Goodreads reviews go on Amazon) I would appreciate you, and return the favor if you’re an author and if that is ethical.
When I was a participant on a certain author’s website, which shall remain anonymous, I read books by five different authors and reviewed them on Goodreads. Those reviews were then posted on Amazon. Those same authors received a copy of my book, and only one posted a review. 
Anyway, now my novel (actually seven in one - Children of Adonai: Celestials Chronicles) I’m rewriting again and doing my very best to edit out the mistakes. I hope get it done before the first weekend in May. That’s when my free offer comes up on Amazon for COA: Celestials Chronicles.
BTW, You don’t have to buy the book on Amazon to leave a review on Amazon.

Ah, writing stories… it’s the hardships and traumas in life that help me get in touch with my feelings about certain situations that crop up in my stories.
My latest (personal) story was about my mama dog, an Australian Shepherd who was hit then ran over by a car. I suffered loss and terrible grief as did my son. At times I want to rage at the person, but it does no good to blame ourselves or others when bad things happen, even though the person blames us for her death, rather than admitting they were driving too fast and failed to stop. 
Nevertheless, these events in life help authors get in touch with feelings, but when situations arise in a story where we have no experience, sometimes we can ‘imagine’ ourselves experiencing such an event and how we might feel, and when that fails, there’s some very good ‘emotion thesaurus’ online that help out as well as other online helps.
Right now, I’m reading a series of eleven books, so far, the David Wolf Mystery Thrillers, and I cannot imagine how the author comes up with all these scenarios. I love mystery thrillers but don’t write in this genre because my mind doesn’t go there. You’d think  after reading Clive Cussler, James Rollins, and books like the ones I’m immersed in now I’d be able to but not so. I’d have to go online and look up true crimes to see what sort of crimes have been committed and how I could use those in a story. Now that’s an idea, in case I’m bored with writing about angels. But hey, maybe I could include the angels and demons in murder mysteries. I’ll have to look in the Bible and see if there’s any mysteries in there I could steal an idea or two from. It’s always a good jumping off point.
Come to think of it, I could use the story of my mama dog as a starting point, maybe the person was running away from a crime or fleeing from someone who was after them and couldn’t stop for fear of being caught or themselves being murdered. Nice. I’ll toss that into AI and see what sort of outline it comes up with and if it’s something I can work with to write a mystery.
Okay. See you next time around.